This information is only intended for you if you agree with the disclaimer!
The following recommendations are mainly intended for people who are strong enough to stand up for their rights:
Tell your psychologist what you think of the treatment
If you are not satisfied with the current treatment, indicate this in a calm way. If a care provider gets the criticism that it is unfair they get to decide about the care we need more than once, this can eventually lead to better transgender care.
If you are not able to do this during the diagnostic phase, do it later on. Also see our action pages.
Record the conversation with the psychologist
In 2016 minister Schippers (public health) has indicated that it is perfectly acceptable to record conversations with a doctor. Also see this news item by NOS.
1) Minister Schippers is referring to doctors (who discuss results of diagnostics and follow-up treatments); she is not talking about mental care or assessments
2) But in mental care and assessments, there are good reasons to record the sessions as well: It enables you to think about what the psychologist has told you or asked you again at home
3) There is a risk this will lead to a conflict between the psychologist and you: she may (justifiably) feel observed and (justifiably) be afraid that her (incorrect) way of working may be exposed. This fear may lead to your psychologist forcing you to stop recording.
A sophism for making you stop recording might be that the psychologist is afraid that listening again would be harmful for your transition process, or that listening again might make you very emotional when she isn’t there to help you. Think in advance about what your answer will be to that. And remember that, no matter how wrong this is, the psychologist is in a very dominant position in the diagnostic phase of your transition process. Choose your battles: is it more important to engage in this fight (and risk losing and getting kicked out of the diagnostic process empty-handedly) or to get the hormones/operations you need as quickly as possible? You can always choose to wait until after the mandatory psychologist goes out of your process and evaluate the treatment later...
By the way: the national association of general practitioners (LHV) indicates that a general practitioner can prohibit recording, but only if he provides you with a founded reason for why it isn’t allowed. So if you want to try this, always ask why a psychologist wants to forbid recording – she has to give a reason. See this for the advice.
Regularly ask what your psychologist has discussed in “the team”
We regularly hear complaints from transgender people that their psychologist is giving false information in "the team", causing other therapists to refuse hormone treatments or operations. This can have dire consequences! Asking what your psychologist has discussed can help to solve this problem.
Again there is a risk that your psychologist may feel attacked when you ask this kind of questions: he may get the feeling you don’t trust him. Plan in advance what you are going to say or do if they come with this argument.
Make your psychologist responsible for getting hormones
We have never asked for a gatekeeping psychologist. They find themselves perfectly capable of deciding who needs hormones/operations and who doesn’t. On the other hand we see some gatekeeping psychologists avoiding to take the responsibility: "I will discuss your case in the team, other people may still have objections against hormones/operations for you". In such a case you can make your psychologist responsible for the result: first ask whether you are allowed to be present in that meeting (our experience: that is never allowed), then ask who will be representing you in the meeting. Psychologists see themselves as a bridge between transgender people and therapists, so they see themselves as your representative in that meeting. After this preparation you can easily say: "if you are representing me in that meeting, I expect you to do everything you can to get the hormones/operation I need. I am counting on you!".
Again there is a risk your psychologist may feel attacked when you ask this kind of questions: he may get the feeling that you don’t trust him. That can be a disadvantage for you. Only use this trick if you are able to do it calmly. If you feel angry, stressed, or sad about the role of your psychologist, don’t use this trick.